Going Back to the Beginning

Hi, myself

I thought it best to start at the beginning. Until I can figure out who God is in my life, I can't begin to understand how I can submit to him.

A popular view of God is a cuddly, grandfatherly Santa Claus - lovingly overlooking all our activities, gently carrying us through the hard times of life, giving us the deepest desires of our hearts, teaching us deep lessons along the way readying us for a home in the sweet by and by.

Another view of God is a stern task master - standing above, with that "all seeing eye watching you" - a red pen, the book of life and a certain glee at catching us mess up. ("I knew you couldn't do it!") He hid commands and parts of commands in various parts of the Bible - making it a life long job of searching and putting them together in order to please Him. God is up in Heaven spending His time watching us, and recording our activities. We are the center of his attention. It's all about our ability to live the life he outlined in the Bible.

Problem with those views? In it - I am God. All things are to benefit me. God helps, God protects, God grants, God forgives, God teaches. It's all about me. Sounds like the Toby Keith song. If you think honestly about our usual view of God - doesn't that fit? That's a frightening thought! I wonder how He feels about that? (I am certainly not taking away from the fact that God desires to do all those things and more - but questioning if that should be the center of our relationship.)

Transfering to the relationship with my husband - is there a similarity? Is our relationship one I view ultimately in terms of how it will benefit me? Is my husband here simply to make my life better, prevent or solve my problems, protect me, provide, entertain, etc. If that is how I view this relationship, submission makes no sense. I am the center of the relationship - how can I even begin to submit?

How should I view God? Why did he create me to begin with? I believe we can look to the creation of the first recorded human to answer that question. When God created Adam, they immediately struck up a relationship. They were friends walking in the Garden each evening. We don't have records of what they talked about (Oh, how I wish we did!) but I think it is fair to say they were not filled with requests and pleas of help from Adam. What more could he ask for? He lived in a paradise. I believe God looked to Adam as a friend - a companion. I believe He is still looking for friends. People who are His (as he says in 1 Chron. "My people, who are called by My name) - people who are in relationship with him. People who LIKE Him. There were a few folks like that recorded in the OT - folks like Abraham - Moses - and David. Those men had relationships with God. How did they have that desire before they read scripture where we find the beginning of faith and understanding today? They sought Him out. It was not a case of God speaking to them and bringing about that relationship. God spoke to many people but only seemed to view a few in this close manner. Also, we have no record that God spoke to David (amazing, but true) so David's faith and desire for God was not based on that. Moses was so close to God he said "Whoa, now, God. Are you sure you want to do that? You aren't going to look too good with the people if you over react like that! That is pretty amazing when you think about it.

So, how can I understand submitting to someone if I am really keeping Him in subjection? That's a hard thought. It's a huge thought. It's something that takes days and months of prayer and contemplation to sift through our own lives and ask God to show us the areas that we are willfully holding God back and keeping Him in a box, only allowing Him access and power of our own limits.

God is not here for me. He did not create me for my own good pleasure. I am here solely for His. My life is not my own. I was bought with a price. I am to glorify God in my body. That is pretty heavy stuff and really goes against our American ideals of my rights to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. What rights do I have? I am certainly assured no rights from day to day in today's volatile world. I never had rights in my life with God. He made me and he bought me. It is all about HIM. However, turning my life over to Him brings me everything: an abundance of life of which I cannot begin to conceive.

I believe that I can begin to see a glimpse of submitting to God by putting my husband in the proper place in my life, as well. I am to submit to him as to the Lord. I simply cannot do that if I have him in a subjected state in my life - one in which it is his job to serve my needs. Another opportunity for heart searching prayer with God and conversation with my husband. I need to seek to know him - his needs and desires - just as I need to seek God and learn His desires for me.

So, before beginning a life of submission, I have to understand where I stand in relation to the folks I am trying to submit to. If I don't place them in proper alignment in my life I will never understand submission and it WILL be a difficult yoke - one that chafs and binds and weighs me down.

Why am I here?
AJTX